If you’re helping a friend who thinks she’s pregnant, you’ve come to the right place. Here are some ideas to help you in knowing how to best support your friend during this time.
1. Make sure she knows she’s not alone and you are there to support her.
2. Don’t pressure her. Listen to her concerns and fears and recognize that this is a stressful time.
3. Connect her to one of our locations where she can have her pregnancy confirmed with a lab quality test and find out how far along she is with an ultrasound. Come along to her appointment with her to provide support.
4. Encourage her to take her time in making a decision and talk to others who have made each choice–abortion, adoption, and parenting.
5. Continue to be her friend regardless of whether you agree with the decision she makes for her pregnancy.
When helping your friend, it is also important to remember that this is her pregnancy and she will be most impacted by the choices she makes. While you can share your opinions with her, it is important to be ready to listen, ask questions that will help her process, and to reinforce that you are there to support her.
Schedule an appointment at one of our centers today (with your friend’s permission of course).Learn More
What are the reasons abortion seems like the best option for me?
Often in life when we encounter something unexpected our first thought is, “How am I going to make this work?” At First Care, we realize that same reaction applies to an unplanned pregnancy. We recognize an unplanned pregnancy comes with a range of emotions including: shock, emotional numbness, disappointment, fear, anxiety or stress.
When all of these thoughts and feelings get mixed up together, we may look for an escape; a way to erase or undo the situation we find ourselves in. For some women, abortion feels like the only option due to their life circumstances.
Do any of these reasons apply to your situation?
- You feel like you do not have everything in order the way you imagined before having children
- You might already have children and adding another child feels too overwhelming
- You may feel like things are too tight financially to have a child
- You may not have adequate housing
- You may be temporarily without a job
- You may want to finish school and believe having a baby would get in the way of your goals
- You feel like you do not have enough support from the baby’s father or your parents/other family members
If you are dealing with even one of the reasons listed above, it’s understandable why abortion may feel like the only way forward. But it’s important to allow yourself time to make a well-informed decision. Put your decision making in perspective.
Honestly ask yourself a few key questions that will help you identify why abortion seems like the best way forward and help bring clarity to your decision making process:
- Why do I feel abortion is the best option for me?
- Would I consider a different option if my circumstances were different?
- What problem(s) am I hoping abortion will solve?
- Would I feel differently about this decision 5 years from now? 10 years from now?
- What concerns do I have about continuing the pregnancy?
- Have I thoroughly explored all of my options – including adoption and parenting – and know what resources are available to me?
If your circumstances are the primary reason you are considering abortion, know that circumstances can change. Also know there are a variety of community resources and organizations designed to support moms in our community (including our programs here at First Care Pregnancy Center).
Schedule an appointment today to meet with one of our staff for Options Counseling to process your decision in a confidential and nonjudgmental environment.Learn More
Parenting can be overwhelming, whether your pregnancy was planned or not. But parenting can also be very rewarding. Although very few parents will tell you they were “ready” to become a parent when they became pregnant, many parents will say they are so glad they chose to parent.
If you’re trying to figure out if parenting is the right choice for you, consider these questions:
What would I really enjoy about being a parent?
There are many aspects about parenting that bring joy: cuddling with your newborn, watching your toddler learn how to walk and then talk, or seeing your child grow as they go off to school, make friends, and place their mark on the world. What pieces of being a parent do you think you’d enjoy? Which aspects would you look forward to experiencing?
What would be difficult about being a parent right now?
Parenting isn’t always a walk in the park. Which aspects of being a parent do you perceive as being difficult for your right now? In what ways would that impact your parenting? How would you, or could you, get support in these areas?
What support do I have?
Friends? Family? A partner? Other parents? Who do you have in your life that can cheer you on, be with you during the tough nights or even babysit. Are there organizations that can help support you financially or with material items? Here at First Care, we provide support and education for new parents until their child is age 5. Through individual coaching and group classes, you can find some of the support and practical items you will need to parent.
Have I thought through all of my options?
It’s important to take the time to consider all of your pregnancy options before deciding. This will help you make an informed decision, and one you can look back on in five years, knowing you considered all your options. Thinking in the long term, what would be a benefit for each of your options, Parenting, Abortion, Adoption? What would be difficult about each? How do you think you think you’ll feel in a year or two years about each option? Are there people in your life that are pressuring you to choose one option or another? Which one do you really want?
Parenting is expensive. How will I provide for my baby and myself?
What support do you have around you that can help provide for you and your baby? At First Care, we are honored to walk alongside you and help you prepare to parent. We will meet with you as often as you like and provide parenting education and material support to make sure you are fully ready and prepared for parenthood. Regardless of whether your pregnancy was planned or not, you are qualified to parent.Learn More
Making the decision to parent is a major life decision, but one that should be celebrated and supported! At First Care we are ready to join you in both celebrating this decision and helping you prepare to be the best parent you can be. We offer a variety of services to provide you with support and help as you begin your journey as a new mom or dad. Our goal is to support you through this journey so you can parent with confidence.
As you enter the final stages of pregnancy, consider joining one of our birth classes to help you prepare for both labor and delivery, but also the first days and weeks of parenting. We will cover topics such as mother and baby care.
Resources & Referrals
Our Licensed Social Workers or Client Advocates are a great resource for you as you need additional resources to aid in your parenting. Our staff are well connected to a variety of community resources and can help connect you to the resources you need. We provide referrals for baby items and equipment, counseling, basic needs, and more.
One-on-One Parenting Coaching
Through our Every Family parenting program, we offer parenting education and support to thousands of families each year. During an Every Family appointment, you will meet one-on-one with a Parenting Coach who will get to know you and your family. You will have an opportunity to discuss your parenting challenges, select lessons relevant to these challenges, and leave each session with practical tips on how you can apply your new knowledge at home. Every Family participants are welcome to scheduling an individual coaching session up to twice per month.
After each Every Family coaching session, you will earn points that can be used to shop in one of our clothing closets. Each closet is stocked with practical items for your baby including diapers, wipes, baby clothes, maternity clothes, and equipment.
Contact the location nearest to you to get started!Learn More